Step 1   We admitted we were powerless over ____________that our lives had become unmanageable.   “The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."           The literal translation of the word weak is “strengthless or powerless.”  Most of us have been Christians for years and have accepted the lie that we have some form of power, some form of control or that there is something we have to do to get God to bless us, or at least not curse us. We live in a culture that tells us that only the strong survive, only the strong are worthy of admiration, and weakness is atrocious and repulsive. We have tried to hide our weakness many different ways, but now, we are tired of the act, tired of the con, tired of trying to impress others.  There are various ways we have coped with our pain—pain that comes from years of failure, rejection and hurt.  We have learned ways to compensate for the pain.  There are various ways to take the edge off.  Masturbation, pornography, competition, entertainment, workaholism, womanizing, intimidation, manipulation, drug use, alcohol use, financial success, and the list goes on, but deep down, we are scared, weak little men.   If we stop to think, if we stop to ponder, it hurts too much, so we keep busy, keep smiling, and ignore the ache—but the ache is the calling of God.  All we have to do is listen to Him—“Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy burdened.”  The thought that we are powerless is horrible.  General George Patton said, “The very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.” However, Jesus tells us that if we want to be great in the Kingdom of God, we must become like children.  We must allow God to heal us. Most of our actions have been not only to relieve the pain, but also to avoid the pain, but now we must face the pain of our personal failure head on—it is the beginning of the healing process.  Don’t think about what you will do next, just give up the con, admit you are powerless, and God will take it from there—that is why it is in steps, He will guide you into step 2.   Step 2   We have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.   “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."             Step 2 is called the hope step because in Step 1 we came to an end of ourselves—we admitted we are powerless. Thank God the journey just begins there because we need relief.  If we look at the supporting verse closely, we realize the fact that spending all that time covering up our weakness has kept us from experiencing God’s power in our lives.  We have tried to fool others into thinking that we have it together, that we are not hurting, and we need no one; however, we only fooled ourselves.  We are dependent creatures; that is the way God made us.  If we have not been depending on God, we have been depending on our own resources for the comfort we need.  Our weakness comes out in our inability to resist temptation; our inability to love; our inability to control or express our emotions properly—most of us know that we would turn our backs on everything that is good, true and noble for a single moments pleasure—that is our natural state—weak and powerless.            But now, we have this glimmer of hope that we can be changed--it starts as a small mustard seed —God put that seed there. We have been in the way—now it becomes a matter of trust—we will trust God.  We have been hurt, disappointed and let down by others in the past.  We did what the experts, pastors and pundits told us to do, and it did not work. We find it easier to fall back on our own resources—our way—at least we know what it will be like.  But now our hope is not in others, ourselves or our drug of choice.  We have a Higher Power—a power greater than ourselves.  We have been familiar with God, but have not experienced His power.  Now that we have admitted our utter weakness, we can begin to experience His power.  We will let the mustard seed of hope grow in God’s time, under His care, and according to His will.  Again, like step 1, we need to take this step and wait for God to lead us into Step 3.   “Be of good cheer—I have overcome the world.”     Step Three Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.   “My Father, if possible take this cup from me. Yet, not as I will but as you will.”             Step 3 involves turning our lives and will over to God.  This means that we want God’s will to be done in our lives on a daily basis.  This is a crucial step.  Steps one and two gave us some genuine relief from our pain.  Being honest freed us up to understand God loves us right where we are. Most of our pain has come from us doing things our way; however, following God’s will does not mean we won’t have pain; in fact, God’s will may be painful at times.  Jesus prayed the above prayer when He was about to suffer immensely.  He was right smack center of God’s will.  The good news is that you are now smack in the middle of God’s will right now—you always have been—you just didn’t know it.  Your self centered will has brought you pain and suffering, but it has not changed God’s will one bit!  It is a paradox we know, but it is a comforting one.  Bill Gillum has said that there is 1 God and 6 billion wannabees.  We all try to run our own little section of the universe.  We like to be in control; however, any sense of control we have felt has only been a delusion—a big, fat lie.  Jesus likened it to us trying to build our house on the sand.  The smashing of our sandcastles has brought us to step 1 because God in His mercy will now send wave after wave to keep you from even getting started on a new sandcastle.  God has a better plan, a better place, a better time, a better way and the power to do it.  God loves to build from the ruins. He loves you and knows what is best for you.  Trust is going to be the main issue here. This is a matter of faith which is a matter of trust.  Are we willing to trust God?  Are we willing to yield to His will?  Like a child who wants to play in traffic, we think we know what we want, what we should have, and when we should have it.  God is a loving Father, who knows what we need even before we ask.  Submission rather than surrender is what this faith and trust is asking of us. We surrender to our enemy—God is not our enemy—He is our loving, gracious heavenly Father. This step prepares the way for all the other steps.  God wants to show you His plan, and it involves good news.      Step 4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.    “You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.” (psalm 90:8) It is very fitting that immediately after turning our lives and will over to the care of God that we allow God to bring all into the light of His presence.  The reason for the inventory is healing—God desires to heal us and make us strong.  Think of a broken bone—when it heals it becomes stronger.  He wants to make us strong men, and He will do that through our weakness.  The inventory will show us that the acting out with drugs, sex, work, etc. is only the tip of the iceberg; only a symptom.  The root is our flesh and the years and years of conditioning, practice and building of strongholds that has resulted in paralyzing hatred, guilt, fear, and pride. The inventory gets at the root, severs it, and begins the healing process for our souls.             Since God is love, we start with the most potent aspect of our flesh—hatred.  We make a resentment list and get at the root of layered over, buried, suppressed and denied hatred.  This is number one.  It is the nature of the flesh to hate and resent everyone and everything that has ever hurt, disappointed, judged or failed us.  Because we deny this, we have not choice but to pretend.  This pretense mars our conception and reality is distorted; thus, our lives become unmanageable. Next, we look at our history of acting out.  We create a biographical sketch that reveals that our addiction is woven into every part of our lives, and most of our motivation is built towards the goal of satisfying the addiction.  We are brutally honest in our history.  God already knows all about it—we have only fooled ourselves.  We begin writing with our earliest memory of acting out, what led up to it, and what followed thereafter. God will lead us, and we will begin to see just how selfish, self centered we have been.  We have used people for our own pleasure. We have set up various layers of self protection. We have kept God and others at arms length.  We have based decisions and built our lives around getting to our goal—our payoff, whatever that might be. We get honest about the flesh.  If we are overcome with shame to the point we want to retreat, we remember that God already knows and loves us completely.  This is for us. We forge ahead with courage.  That is why it is a fearless inventory. As it is brought out into the light, we will experience God’s acceptance of us.  Something we’ve longed for all our lives. The power it has over us will die in the light, and we will know we are children of light.  Finally, we will know and understand our true identity in Christ—that this is not us but sin living in us.  So when you get fearful in this inventory, believe your true identity: One with Christ-Perfect before the Father. “ We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are being saved.”     Step 5   Admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.   “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”           After we have done inventory, it is important to confess it—tell someone else our story.  There are two important reasons for this. First, it breaks through our denial and defense mechanisms. Keeping it all hid has been a major part of our problem.  God already knows, but we talk to Him about our discoveries, and we let Him talk to us.  We tell our story to another man.  This other person will model God’s acceptance of us.  If you tell someone the ugliest part of your life, and they are not shocked, upset or judgmental, you will experience freedom, relief and healing from pain.  This person will also keep you from denial and projection if he does his job correctly.           It is important to choose the right person.  Following is the criteria for picking your sponsor.   1.       He must understand the true gospel. 2.      He must be able to separate you from your flesh and recognize your true identity in Christ. 3.      He must know that this is a matter of life and death for you. If you don’t know of someone, perhaps your pastor or counselor could listen to you.  As you finish your inventory, take the following steps.           Talk to the Father about it and receive His complete forgiveness Pray about choosing a person to work with you and heard your story. Set up a time and date. (as soon as possible) Read your inventory to your sponsor, friend or pastor. Acknowledge your true Identity in Christ.     Steps 6 and 7   Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings   “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18)             A Christian may be tempted to look at step 6 and say, “I’ve always wanted God to remove my defects—I’ve asked him to take away such and such; or I’ve asked him to take away my desire for __________.” The problem with this approach, and the reason we haven’t experienced change is simple. We are focusing on the symptoms and not the root of the problem. We’ve asked him to help us stop drinking, to take away the lust in our hearts, to keep us from masturbating, or to make us stop hating someone.  However, these behaviors are not the real problem—they are not the real defect of character.  If we did steps 4 & 5 thoroughly, we now understand the real problem, and we are ready to allow God to change us from the inside out. If we did not complete steps 4 & 5 correctly, we will continue the fruitless effort of trying to change our behavior in our own strength. Only you know the unique root of your problem—your defects of character. And now you are ready for God to remove them; you have gained much insight, and God has reassured you that despite your flesh, you are righteous, holy and blameless. You have had a taste of freedom, and you anticipate more than you have ever experienced, and you want more you want to go all the way, and you are ready for God to remove these defects of character.  You realize that you don’t have to manipulate, hide, lie, con, and cover your tracks anymore.  You can be more transparent, brave, responsible, caring, and godly.  You are beginning to experience God’s power like you have never felt it.  Furthermore, the pain these defects have caused you and your loved ones makes you ready—you have had enough—you want the abundant life, you want to be healthy, and you realize that God is serious when He said, “I have come that you might have life and that more abundantly.”  Humbly asking God to remove your shortcomings means 3 things: 1. Only God can do it. 2. God will do it because He loves you. 3. You want them removed because God does, and you completely trust Him.     Step 8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.   “A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord.” (Pr. 19:3)   Steps eight is tricky one because it will challenge our pride at every level. It will take the hand of God to move us because we have spent too long focusing on the hurts others have caused us while minimizing our own hurtful actions.  Hopefully, by now, God has healed us enough to recognize, with compassion, how we have hurt other people. Some will be obvious: We lashed out verbally or physically; we’ve stolen or cheated; we’ve damaged property or lost important items. We were unfaithful. These will come to mind quickly.  It is important to put them down as soon as they come to mind. If we hesitate because we think of the wrong they have done us feeling our actions were justified, we have missed the point of this step.  Jesus Christ is God’s standard of righteousness. This means that any action less than total forgiveness is sinful and dysfunctional. We are responsible for our own actions before God: As for the other party: “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant. To His own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”  You must do your part; if they want to take responsibility for their actions, it is up to them—you have no control over that. This is part of growing up—growing taller, and being a man. It is also about your healing. Reconciliation brings healing—every time. Other wrongs won’t be as obvious—theologians call them “sins of omission.” We lost precious time with our kids because of our antics. We are told to love our wives like Christ loves the church, but we’ve neglected them. We could have been working, but we’ve actually drained our resources—we’ve failed to provide for our families. We spent money feeding our addiction. These actions have affected others, and we need acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness.  This takes courage, and in the case of our wives, we need to lead—we need to take the initiative in making amends—even if they harmed us equally or to a greater degree. We need to take the first step.  Ask God to show you the list and give you the courage to face it.